Living with an illness every day is draining. Just imagine yourself having a constant cold for years and that gives you a small glimpse into what it’s like. It is a fight to stay positive on a daily basis. Which I am failing at routinely more recently.
My Lyme journey ebbs and flows constantly. I will be steadily improving and beginning to hope that full healing is possible and then it comes crashing down. I have grown in not letting despair overtake me when this occurs, but the last month and a half has been a real challenge.
It is a frustrating process trying to figure out why I backslide health wise. Is it something I’m doing/not doing, treatment not working or just the nature of the disease? A lot of trial and error to figure it out. Most of all prayer.
The discouragement can be overwhelming as I watch these years move steadily on. Social media is great because it helps me keep up with people (on a surface level that is) but it also leads me to a place of discontentment. Seeing my friends starting a family and traveling stirs up jealousy. So, I’m trying not to scroll through social media anymore. Learning to be content with where God has me. Never imagined that most of my 20’s being taken by poor health, but I know God is using this time (even if I don’t see how yet).
Lets be real though…I am tired. Tired of it all. Thankful for God’s strength because without it, I would have given up a long time ago.